Saturday, September 1, 2012

I Need to Fatten Up My Baby

Luke's weight gain has not been following an ideal curve. He's gaining weight, but at a lower and lower rate. He eats like a bed-ridden obese person, so it's been frustrating trying to figure out what's going on. The Not-Doctor (she's a nurse practitioner, but that's just too long to say) suggested supplementing with Pediasure. When I expressed concern over Pediasure consisting almost entirely of water and sugar, she shrugged and said, "I don't know what's in it, but when I give it to kids with ADHD, they pack on the weight." Awesome. I'm sure he'd "pack on the weight" if I spoon fed him high fructose corn syrup all day, too. Plus it would be a hell of a lot cheaper.

So we decided to conduct an experiment. The Not-Doctor weighed Luke on Friday and he weighed 19lbs 11oz. Over the weekend, I gave Luke as much Pediasure as he wanted after and between meals. Have you ever tasted Pediasure? It's like a delicious milkshake. And considering the ingredients are listed as, "Water, sugar" and a shit-ton of vitamins and chemicals, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it is.

On Monday, I brought Luke back to the Not-Doctor and, to my surprise, relief, and chagrin (I'll explain later) he had gained over 3lbs in three days. He jumped up 15 percentile points.  Yes, it is wonderful that Failure to Thrive is ruled out. Yes, it's good to know that Luke is simply crazy active and needs more calories. That said, it really annoys me that the Not-Doctor had pretty much NO information to back up the Pediasure recommendation and yet it worked.

So now what do I do? The Not-Doctor said to give Luke maybe one Pediasure a week. I'm not sure what that's supposed to accomplish. She had absolutely no suggestions on how to get Luke to gain weight without pumping him full of crap. When I pointed out that I could force the same weight gain by only feeding Luke Doritos and gummy vitamins, the Not-Doctor just shrugged. Oh, yeah, she also asked me if Carnation Good Start was just sugar, too. She asked me. All I could think was, "Am I really paying for this conversation?"

Almost everyone on the maternal side of my family has type 2 Diabetes, so I make a real effort to limit the amount of processed sugar in my kids' diet. I want them to establish good eating habits now in hopes of preventing them from developing Diabetes as adults.  This is one of the main reasons I am reluctant to give Luke Pediasure regularly. Even though I know he will burn off the calories, I don't want to train his body and mind to expect and want sugary treats on a daily basis.

Anyway, I'm on a mission to find healthy unprocessed alternatives to Pediasure. 

Just to make sure you truly understand how much this child eats, here is a sample food diary for him:

6:30am - Nurse & then throw body around bed until Mommy has sufficient panicky adrenaline levels from fear of Luke crushing his skull from backflipping off the bed
7:00am -

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