I am Going to Die

Have you ever had one of those days where you are just in a foul mood for absolutely no reason? You know, the whole "waking up on the wrong side of the bed" thing. I'm having one of these days today. I had to utilize all of my limited self control in order to not break out the rum before 11am.

My kids slept til 9am today, so I should feel amazing. Well, Luke woke up and had to be nursed back to sleep at 5am and 6:30am. But I got to go back to sleep each time, so I won't complain... too much.

Anywho, the point is that my day didn't start off terribly. For the first hour, my kids were content watching Bambi and eating a ton of grapes. Yes, I feed them grapes for breakfast because I am an awesome, truly dedicated Mom. Hey, fruit is healthy

And then everything shot to hell. Between the hours of 10am and 11am, the following things happened:

1. Luke threw everything off of the counter while I was making his high calorie smoothie (again, because I am awesome and dedicated).
2. Meike dumped peanut oil onto the floor.
3. While holding Luke and searching through the cabinet for a smoothie-appropriate cup, Meike was whining about wanting Luke's smoothie. Meike pulled on my leg and caused me to knock a glass onto the counter. The glass shattered.
4. As I attempted to clean up the broken glass without maiming either child, Luke began to headbutt my calves. 
5. Meike asked for a muffing 6847654321 times. After receiving said muffin, she only ate two bites and insisted that she was full. Three minutes later, Meike was hungry, but only for bananas. After eating half of the banana, Meike decided she was full. Five minutes later, Meike said that she was hungry for a smoothie. She immediately asked for her muffin and said she was not hungry for smoothies. Then she didn't want the smoothie because she was hungry for muffins. Repeat indefinitely.

All of this resulted in my brain reaching a state best described as crazy. And I don't mean "whoa guys, this is crazy fun." I mean Timothy McVay levels of crazy.