Playgroups

Meike and I went to our first born-again stay-at-home-mom playgroup today.  The group is called something like "20 to 30-something year old moms..."  It was so nice to be around moms my own age.  I tried to join a playgroup when Meike was only a few months old, but never returned after the first meetup.  First of all, the group was comprised of four or five 35yo+ women who lived on the same street together in Westlake.  They were all "retired" (is that the right word?) professionals who had already established themselves in fields like medicine and law.  They nursed their kids until they were 3+ years old (I try not to judge and to be open minded, but I'll expand on this in a minute).  We (meaning me vs them, collectively) were very obviously at different points in our lives in multiple regards and it made it difficult for me to relate to them or feel comfortable.  The fact that they were already an established close-knit group who shared the same parenting perspective (whether peer influenced or not) didn't help things.

Now, I am all about natural, free, unadulterated childhood and innocence, but even I got a little squeemish when the third chick nonchalantly threw her shirt aside to nurse her 3yo son.  He would just run up to her, fumble around with her shirt and bra like a nervous 13yo about to get to second base, and the mom would just help him undress her while continuing on in conversation as if nothing unusual or private or noticable was going on.  As if that wasn't enough, the mom then commented that she had decided to wean her son a few months ago and had consequently "dried up."  So she was continuing to let her 3yo publicly disrobe her at a whim so he could suck on some "dried up" boobs?  The mom didn't even address the possibility of the situation being awkward or unusual.  She just sat there without her shirt on so the boy could alternate between playing with his friends and sucking on her boobs at his pleasure. 

I think of myself as having a fairly lassaiz-faire (or is it laissez?) approach to parenting and in responding to other parenting styles.  I mean, of course I have my own opinions about bed-sharing, free-birthing, nursing, and such, but I keep them to myself.  I'm not so arrogant as to think that I know all the right answers or that I utilize superior parenting techniques.  But the group of women my own age seem to be much less rigid when it comes to parenting idealogies.  We aren't going to keep trying to put a square peg in a round hole because it's "what the books says." 

Even though I'm not a particularly young mother, I did feel pressure in that Westlake group to measure up... To measure up to the complete maternal selflessness for which Attachment Parenting has been criticized.  I don't feel that pressure from my similar-aged peers; we are all trying to figure out our place in this world and create a niche for our little families.  We're letting the pieces fall into place without too much poking or proding or reshaping.  Austin seems to reel in a diverse mix of folks from far and wide.  We're happy with the momentary status quo and are trying to enjoy it, first-hand, as much as possible.  Maybe it's because we haven't spent quite so long investing in and fantasizing about this perfect family.  Rather than trying to make the subject fit/suit the medium, we're just mixing it all together to see what adventure and fun comes out.

**About halfway through writing this blog, I realized that my sleeping med had kicked in.  I tried to push through it, but I'm pretty sure I've ended up with a whingy tantrum about ...something to do with parenting or motherhood.  Forgive me or appreciate the unadulturated... I must now stop and will most likely do some MAJOR editting in the morning.