My Three Month-Old is Not Potty-Trained

That's right, I said three MONTH-old.  I did not mean to write three year-old, even though that would make a little more sense.  At least I thought so before today.  Apparently, Luke is behind the ball.  You'd think that sitting up unassisted would be a prerequisite for sitting on a porcelain bowl, but alas, it is not.

Ever heard of "EP-ing?"  I had a vague idea of it that I learned from...I don't know, probably the Daily Show or something.  For those of you not in the know (losers), EP stands for.. Oh man, I just looked it up because I could not form a sentence cohesive enough to describe it to you and discovered that it is actually called "EC-ing."  Turns out I'm the loser.

I digress.  So EC stands for Elimination Communication (aka Elimination Potty Training, must of been were I got the "P" from).  You are supposed to watch your infant for cues that they have to "eliminate" waste.  Then you somehow rush them the the toilet and dangle them there until it all comes out.  Here, let's test your skills.

Look at the following pictures and try to choose the one in which Luke is peeing (he's wearing a diaper because I'm old-fashioned like that):

 A

B

Could you tell which one it was?  Me neither.  But he was definitely moving in B (see the blur?).  

Diapers it is, Luke!

Ironically, this practice has produced such dignified publications as Trickle Treat and Potty Whispering.  I kid you not.  Are people really in such a rush for their babies to grow up?  Can't we just enjoy the ride?  

When you have a baby, you know what's involved before it arrives.  Diapers, drool, and spit-up.  Maybe you didn't know just how much of it was involved, but you were at least aware of the general implications of infant care.  I will liken the situation to getting a cat.  When you get a cat, you know it needs a litter box.  But, despite knowing this, do you potty-train your cat to fit your ideal Bohemian lifestyle?  No, you just keep on truckin with that pooper scooper.

One more fun fact:

ECed babies are free from the problems of conventional diapering: 

...not being able to explore this area...

That's been a big worry of mine.  I've been thinking lately, while changing his diapers, "How is Luke going to touch his penis frequently with this damn diaper in the way."  Problem solved!

Just in case I was too quickly dismissing the key to enhanced attachment with Luke, I asked him if he felt like we were not communicating enough about his elimination needs.  He drooled on me.